sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
