Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
