My sheets look like a crime scene.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize
