hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
