It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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