we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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