Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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