I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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