I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Never underestimate the power of titties
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
