Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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