i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Randomize
