I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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