i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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