goodnight i made you a song goodbye
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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