she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
