3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
