Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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