i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
