have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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