everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
