Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
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