Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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