ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
