marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Randomize
