I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
im about as happy as oj after his trial
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
