What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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