On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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