their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
You smell like stripper and shame
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
