im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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