fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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