so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
