God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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