i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
