he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
