I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Randomize
