The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize
