I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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