i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Randomize
