I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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