he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
