i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
