its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
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