2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
