Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
