I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
