Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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