I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
