Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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