Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
