Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
