The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
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