I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
