i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
